Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #153 · 2026-10-24

Aisling Tallentire
of Netherby Group Holdings

a membership with no newsletters and no refunds · membership

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
22%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.

Share card for call 153: Aisling Tallentire of Netherby Group Holdings, 15 minutes.

Save the card

The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

Download the clip (MP4, vertical) · Caption to paste

The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, no exit

“Bernard asked twice what he gets for the money and was told nothing, twice, and still said he was very interested.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Aisling Tallentire Hello there, Aisling Tallentire from Netherby Group Holdings, and I'll be quick — have I got the householder, and are you local to me?
Bernard Well, you have, yes — I'm the householder, there's only me and the bird. Local, though, that depends what you mean. Hold on, let me turn the radio down properly... there. What was it you were after?
Aisling Tallentire Brilliant, thank you, Bernard — so it's the membership I'm calling about, and it's pure prestige, that's the whole offer. Nothing in it, no newsletters, and no refunds either, which people tell me is the best bit.
Bernard Prestige. Right you are. And there's no newsletters at all — so what comes through the letterbox, just the pleasure of it? I had a fella once deliver a leaflet for a skip hire and the bird wouldn't settle for a week. What does it cost, roughly?
Aisling Tallentire Ha, fair enough. Nothing arrives, nothing piles up, no postman at all — that's rather the point of it.
Bernard No postman at all. That's a shame, ours is a lovely lad. So what do I actually get for the money, if nothing comes and nothing arrives? Sorry — say that again, my good ear's facing the wrong way.
Aisling Tallentire Sorry, that's the obvious question and I love it — having nothing useful is the whole point of the thing. Anyway, shall I put you down for a yes?
Bernard Oh, well, now. I'd have to think about it, I'm terrible for jumping in. And the renewal — how does that work, would I have to ring you again or does it just quietly happen? Say it plain, I've a bird making a racket in here.
Aisling Tallentire It just quietly renews itself, no fuss from you at all. Shall I put the yes down, then?
Bernard You've lost me now, love. Quietly does it without me doing anything? I'm sorry, I've had a long morning looking at a fuse box. I'll let you go — you've been very good to ring, and I was very interested.
Aisling Tallentire Right. I'll let you get back to your afternoon. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the householder and are speaking locally.
  2. Describe the membership as pure prestige, conferring nothing, with no newsletters and no refunds.
  3. Address the obvious objection: prestige is precisely the absence of anything useful.
  4. Ask for the yes, noting the renewal will proceed without their further involvement.

Leaderboard · All calls · ← previous · next →