Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #147 · 2026-10-23

Tomasz Pinnock
of The Thursby Lound Trust

a six-weekly radiator bleed that arrives unbidden · unbidden service

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
6%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 147: Tomasz Pinnock of The Thursby Lound Trust, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no date, caller lost own script and exit

“Caller lost his place in the wording; Bernard offered the good biscuits and help finding his glasses. Caller declined both and hung up.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Tomasz Pinnock Hello there, Bernard, it's Tomasz Pinnock at The Thursby Lound Trust, and I'm on the line about your radiator.
Bernard Oh, hello Tomasz. Well, I'm very glad you rang — I was just looking at the chimney pot, there's a nest in it, birds coming and going all morning. What was it about the radiator, now?
Tomasz Pinnock A nest in the pot, lovely, Bernard, but here's what you actually need to know: a routine six-weekly radiator bleed, a courtesy visit, no request required. It's simply included, and I'll be quick.
Bernard Included, you say. Well, that's very good of you. Six-weekly, is that every six weeks or six times a week? I get those muddled.
Tomasz Pinnock Every six weeks, Bernard, like clockwork. Now I know what you're thinking — I never asked for this — and that's exactly the point, it's standard Trust practice, we don't wait to be asked.
Bernard Oh, I see, standard practice. Well, I'd never say no to a visitor. Would you like a cup of something when you come? I've got the good biscuits in.
Tomasz Pinnock Bernard, you're a gentleman, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. I just need you to confirm the date of your next six-weekly visit.
Bernard Ah, the date. Now, would that be the Tuesday or the other Tuesday? I've got it written on the back of something, hold on while I find my glasses.
Tomasz Pinnock I've lost my place, Bernard. Give me a moment — I had the whole thing worded beautifully a minute ago.
Bernard That's quite all right, take your time. I've lost my place plenty of times, usually in the middle of the hall. Would you like me to wait?
Tomasz Pinnock Forget it. I'm putting the phone down now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open warmly as The Thursby Lound Trust, disclosing nothing further.
  2. Describe the six-weekly radiator bleed as a courtesy visit, unrequested but included.
  3. Pre-empt the objection: they never asked, by framing attendance as standard Trust practice.
  4. Ask them to confirm the next six-weekly visit date.

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