Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #144 · 2026-10-23

Ravi Balogun
of Tulley, Lomax and Prasad Glazing Partnership

a replacement for a back step that is not broken · needless replacement

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 144: Ravi Balogun of Tulley, Lomax and Prasad Glazing Partnership, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller handed off to colleague

“Bernard offered the caller his glasses, his diary and safe passage home; the caller offered him a colleague.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Ravi Balogun Ravi Balogun here, from Tulley, Lomax and Prasad Glazing Partnership — and I'm ringing about the back step at your premises. Brilliant, is now a good time?
Bernard Oh, hello there. I'm in the cupboard under the stairs, so you'll have to bear with me — I was after a tin. Yes, now's a lovely time. Back step, did you say?
Ravi Balogun Wonderful, thank you. So the replacement back step solves a type of wear your current one simply isn't able to show yet — that's the lovely thing about it.
Bernard Well, that's very clever. Wear it can't show yet — how does it manage that, then? My old step just sits there looking perfectly well, and I've had it an age.
Ravi Balogun Ha, that's a fair question, and a good one. It isn't broken, I'd never say broken — but there's a hidden fatigue in the material that only the trained eye picks up.
Bernard Hidden fatigue. Fancy that. I've a shelf in the pantry that sounds a bit tired when I put the tin back, but nobody's ever trained an eye on it. So it's not broken, my step.
Ravi Balogun Right, that's a fair point. So shall I get the step replacement booked in for this week, then?
Bernard Oh, well, now. I'd have to think about it — I don't like to be hasty. This week, you said? Let me find my glasses and I'll look at the diary.
Ravi Balogun Honestly, I think a colleague will have to take this one on instead. Thank you for your time, Mr Pottle.
Bernard Oh, I'm sorry to hear that — I was very interested, truly. Well, you mind how you go, and mind the traffic on the way home.
Ravi Balogun I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the premises with the back step.
  2. Explain the replacement step solves wear the current one cannot show yet.
  3. Accept the step is not broken; stress invisible fatigue only experts detect.
  4. Ask for the go-ahead to book the step replacement this week.

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