Call #123 · 2026-10-23
Barry Tetley
of Sanderby Hatch Paving Group
a bundle of a fridge and a length of hose · bundle
In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.
15
Minutes on the line
38%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no yes, caller handed off to colleague
“Bernard asked whether the hose came in green; the caller noted it and took that as a yes on the pair.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Barry Tetley
Barry Tetley, Sanderby Hatch Paving Group. I'm ringing to confirm I've got the decision-maker for the site, and I have, haven't I.
Bernard
Oh, well, now, that's very good of you to say so. I had the wireless on and I've lost the thread of it, so you've caught me mid-thought. Decision-maker, yes, that'd be me, though the bird in the front room might argue otherwise. What was it you were after?
Barry Tetley
That's the spirit, Bernard. Now, the fridge and the hose come to you together, as one Sanderby Hatch arrangement, and that's the bit people always ring me back about, so I like to say it early.
Bernard
One arrangement, I see. Does it come in green at all? Only I've a greenhouse with a cracked pane in it and I'm forever fussing over whether things match. The hose, mind, is that the kind you'd water with?
Barry Tetley
Green's a fine thought, Bernard, and I'll note it. Now I know the hose looks like it wandered in from another conversation entirely, but the fridge won't do a thing without it, so they travel as a pair.
Bernard
Oh, that explains it. My brother-in-law had a fridge that wanted a hose, or was it a boiler, I never did get it straight. He's in the airing cupboard of my mind, that one. So the two of them turn up together, do they?
Barry Tetley
They do, Bernard, one lorry, one morning, both of them. So I'll put you down as a yes on the paired unit and we'll sort a delivery slot, what's your week looking like?
Bernard
Well, I'd have to think about it, you understand, I don't like to be hasty. My week's mostly the garden and the bird, so it's wide open really. Would the lorry manage the corner? There's a hedge that's got ideas above its station.
Barry Tetley
Wide open's ideal, Bernard, so let's take that as the yes on the pair. Which morning suits, and I'll not keep you long on the hedge.
Bernard
Now you've lost me a touch, if I'm honest. I'm sorry to hear you've got to go, and I was very interested, I really was. You mind the traffic on the way home.
Barry Tetley
I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by confirming you have reached the premises decision-maker at the site.
- Explain the fridge and hose arrive together as one Sanderby Hatch arrangement.
- Concede the hose seems unrelated, but stress the fridge needs the hose.
- Ask for the yes on the paired unit and a delivery slot.
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