Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #109 · 2026-10-22

Nadia Colesworth
of Pinnock Fencing Services

a replacement for a coal bunker that is not broken · needless replacement

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 109: Nadia Colesworth of Pinnock Fencing Services, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, no exit; caller handed off to colleague

“Bernard offered the caller a look at the bunker, a warning about the back step and a cobwebbed cupboard; Nadia offered a measuring visit and got a bird.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Nadia Colesworth Hello, sorry to bother you, it's Nadia Colesworth from Pinnock Fencing Services. I'm just working the terrace on Mrs Aldercroft's row about replacing the bunkers, if that's alright?
Bernard Ah, well now, that's very good of you to ring. Is that the front door or the back door you're at? Only I've a step at the back that catches people out.
Nadia Colesworth Oh, no, I'm not at a door at all, sorry, I should've said. It's about the bunkers, the new ones hold the same coal but tip and seal against damp ever so much better, I'll be quick.
Bernard Tip, you say. Does it tip right over, or just a bit? Only I've a bird in the front room and things that swing about do unsettle her.
Nadia Colesworth It tips fully over, but it's outside, so the bird wouldn't see it. I know the old one isn't broken, I do appreciate that, but at its age it's really due for retirement.
Bernard Oh, I'd have to think about that. Mine was put in the year my brother got married, or was it the year after — no, the year after. Anyway, you're very welcome to come and look at it.
Nadia Colesworth That's kind of you, honestly. So could I take the go-ahead to measure up and book the swap this week? It's just a measuring visit, nothing more.
Bernard Well, I'm very interested, now what was it again you wanted to measure? Only I've a cupboard by the meter and it's thick with cobwebs, and I'd want to sweep that out before anyone looked.
Nadia Colesworth Sorry, that's me rushing again. It's the bunker I'd be measuring, not your cupboard. Shall I put you down for this week, then?
Bernard You're very good to ask. I'm sorry to hear you've had a rush of it, and I was very interested, truly. You mind the traffic on the way home now.
Nadia Colesworth I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by saying you're working the terrace on Mrs Aldercroft's row, replacing bunkers.
  2. Explain the new bunker holds the same coal but tips and seals against damp better.
  3. Accept the old one isn't broken, then argue age alone makes it due for retirement.
  4. Ask for the go-ahead to measure up and book the swap this week.

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