Call #88 · 2026-10-21
Gordon Thripp
of The Institute of Registered Garden Gate Surveyors
a seasonal chimney sweep that arrives unbidden · unbidden service
15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no objection, caller handed off to colleague
“Caller opened on chimney access, closed on Christmas, and in between got a shed roof, a bucket and a milk float with bad brakes; nothing sold, nothing agreed, gate left on the latch.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Gordon Thripp
Gordon Thripp, The Institute of Registered Garden Gate Surveyors, seasonal compliance lead for chimney access. Your sweep is what I'm on about.
Bernard
Seasonal, you say. Well, I'd have to think about that, because the wireless was saying something about the weather and then it went off on one. Chimney, was it? I've got a shed roof with a bucket under it, so I'm a bit distracted, you see.
Gordon Thripp
Ah, brilliant, a shed roof with a bucket, that's lovely feedback. So the unbidden sweep comes as a courtesy, you see, to protect your gate and flue alignment.
Bernard
An unbidden sweep. Lovely word, that. Does it knock, or does it just let itself in?
Gordon Thripp
Oh, that's a good one, that's a great question. Now, you never actually asked for a sweep, I'll hold my hands up there, but the seasonal duty of care covers it.
Bernard
Well, that's very good of you. I'm very interested, now what was it again? Something to do with the gate and... a flute, was it?
Gordon Thripp
Flue, gate, sweep, all lined up. And if you'd leave the gate off the latch, that's the whole of it.
Bernard
Off the latch, right. And it comes when, this sweep of yours? I only ask because the milk float goes past early and it's got terrible brakes.
Gordon Thripp
That's lovely, that's a really good point about the brakes. Now, could you just name the day for the sweep and I'll put it straight in the book?
Bernard
Oh, I couldn't name a day, I'd get it wrong, I always do. Mind you, half the family say it's my turn for Christmas and it's plainly not.
Gordon Thripp
I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Introduce yourself as the Institute's seasonal compliance lead for chimney access.
- Explain the unbidden sweep arrives as a courtesy to protect gate and flue alignment.
- Concede they never requested a sweep, but cite seasonal duty of care.
- Ask them to confirm the chimney sweep schedule now and keep the gate unlocked.
Leaderboard · All calls · ← previous · next →