Call #79 · 2026-10-21
Carol Munt
of Marchwold Interior Bureau
a twice a year, whether or not chimney sweep that arrives unbidden · unbidden service
15
Minutes on the line
22%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no permission, caller withdrew to fight another day
“Bernard offered the sweepers a cup of something; Carol Munt offered him footnote three and rang off.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Carol Munt
Hello, this is Carol Munt from Marchwold Interior Bureau. I'm checking whether this is the right premises for our sweep round.
Bernard
Oh, a sweep round, that's a new one on me. Are you selling, or asking? Because I'm very happy either way, it's nice to have a voice in the house.
Carol Munt
Well, it's more informing than selling, Mr Pottle. The courtesy sweep is the service itself, you see, item two on the sheet, and it comes twice yearly whether or not the flue needs it.
Bernard
Twice yearly, whether or not — well, that's thorough. Does it mind if it's not needed, though? I'd hate for it to come all that way and find nothing to do.
Carol Munt
I can address that, and it's covered in section nine — nobody asked is precisely the design, not a fault. The sweepers arriving without a request is the unbidden clause; that's the whole of it.
Bernard
Unbidden, right. Well, I'd have to think about that — would they mind knocking loud, since I'm a touch slow getting to the door?
Carol Munt
That's reasonable, and I'll note loud knocking on the sheet. Now, beat four, if I may — may we have your permission for the sweepers to call unannounced from this quarter onward?
Bernard
From this quarter — now is that the spring one or the autumn one? I always muddle those. Give me a moment, I'm just looking for my glasses on the phone book.
Carol Munt
The quarters are historical, actually, from the bureau's own printout here — I'll read you the order. Page one, footnote three, spring first and autumn second, no swapping.
Bernard
Spring first, then, I've got it. Would the lads want a cup of something when they arrive, or do they bring their own?
Carol Munt
I'll ring you back another day. Bye now.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by confirming you have reached the correct premises for the Marchwold sweep round.
- Explain the courtesy sweep: it arrives twice yearly, whether or not the chimney needs it.
- Address the objection that nobody asked: unbidden arrival is the service, not a fault.
- Ask for the yes: permission for the sweepers to call unannounced from this quarter.
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