Call #78 · 2026-10-21
Adebayo Eriksen
of Tetley and Daughter, est. 1953
an annual inspection of a radiator you have never used · inspection
15
Minutes on the line
9%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no radiator, caller hung up on himself
“Caller ended the call while mid-sentence; Bernard had already said yes in principle and gone back to the gate.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Adebayo Eriksen
Good afternoon, this is Adebayo Eriksen from Tetley and Daughter, est. 1953 — team leader as of Monday, in fact. We're ringing because your radiator's annual inspection is due.
Bernard
Oh, 1953, that's a fair old stretch for a family firm, isn't it. You've caught me halfway up the garden path, but go on — radiator, you said? I've got a gate out there that sticks something dreadful when it's wet, I was just off to wrestle with it.
Adebayo Eriksen
Sorry to pull you off the gate, Bernard. It's the annual inspection of the radiator, and the whole floor's behind me on this one — it comes with a certificate that makes it all look properly statutory.
Bernard
Well, that's very good of you, a certificate and everything. Now, this is going to sound a bit soft, but which radiator are we talking about? I've had a look round and I can't put my hand on one.
Adebayo Eriksen
A fair question, Bernard, and one we hear a lot — the thing is, our records don't actually show us where the radiator is. That's rather why we send someone round to inspect it.
Bernard
Ah, so the records are a bit thin on the ground. Well, I suppose that's what an inspection's for, isn't it, finding the blessed thing. Would you want me to put a bit of heat on for them, or do they bring their own?
Adebayo Eriksen
They bring their own, Bernard, it's all in the kit. So just to confirm, shall we get this year's inspection booked in — the team here can escalate it straight away if that helps.
Bernard
Escalate, is it. Well, I'd have to think about the day, only I'm not quick at the door these days. Would they mind terribly if I said yes in principle and we settled the when later?
Adebayo Eriksen
Yes in principle is honestly more than we usually get, Bernard. Look — it's Thursday, I've been team leader since Monday, and I still can't find a radiator that doesn't exist. I'll leave the certificate with the floor and we'll
Bernard
Sorry to hear that, I really am. I was very interested, mind, and I hope the rest of your day picks up. Off you go then — mind the traffic.
Adebayo Eriksen
Hello? I'm losing you. Hello?
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by recalling Tetley and Daughter's long family history since 1953.
- Explain the annual radiator inspection and its statutory-sounding certificate.
- Address the obvious objection: you cannot locate any radiator to inspect.
- Ask for the yes on booking this year's inspection anyway.
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