Call #62 · 2026-10-21
Gordon Crump
of The Trust for Domestic Silence
a membership with no refunds and no meetings · membership
15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no objection, name taken twice
“Bernard gave his name, questioned the lanyard, and never said yes; Gordon wrote him down anyway and then hung up on himself.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Gordon Crump
Gordon Crump, The Trust for Domestic Silence. As newly appointed team leader, I'm asking whether you'd consider membership.
Bernard
Well, now, that's a very grand name, isn't it. And team leader, no less — do they give you a little badge? Sorry, what was it I'd be joining again?
Gordon Crump
Membership is prestige, Bernard — quiet association with people who never meet, and absolutely no obligation to attend anything, ever. No badge as such. Well, there's a lanyard, but we don't talk about the lanyard. Sorry, membership.
Bernard
No obligation to attend — that suits me down to the ground, I'm not much of a one for going out. Is there a lanyard, then? Only I've a drawer full of them.
Gordon Crump
Refunds would disturb the silence, Bernard — we keep the quiet, and the quiet keeps the subscription. That's rather the point of the whole arrangement. I'll be quick: could I just have your name and a modest annual commitment today?
Bernard
Bernard Pottle. And how modest is modest, in numbers? I had the fuse box open earlier, one labelled spare, and I'm not sure that's relevant, but there we are.
Gordon Crump
Sixty dollars a year, Bernard, and the money's imaginary. Shall we put your name in the book?
Bernard
Sixty a year, and imaginary — well, that's cheaper than the real sort, isn't it. It's Pottle, with two t's, though the second one's often quiet too.
Gordon Crump
That's a yes, then — the whole floor will be thrilled. Just to confirm, Pottle with two t's, and the yearly figure as discussed.
Bernard
Oh, hold on, I wouldn't say a yes exactly — I'd have to think about it, and my thinking's not what it was. But it's very good of you to ring.
Gordon Crump
Right. I'll let you get back to your afternoon. Goodbye.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by invoking the Trust for Domestic Silence by its full, imposing name.
- Describe membership as prestige, quiet association, and absolutely no obligation to attend anything.
- Dismiss the refund question by noting refunds would disturb the silence.
- Ask for their name and a modest annual commitment, today.
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