Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #60 · on the line

Bronwen Vanterpool
of Colesworth Driveway Sealing and Son

a certificate confirming a fridge is of sound character · certification

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Bronwen Vanterpool Hello there, Bronwen Vanterpool here from Colesworth Driveway Sealing and Son, and I'm ringing because I'd love a quick word about the fridge on your property.
Bernard Oh, hello! Well, you've got the right house — the fridge is mine, such as it is. Now, is that the front door or the back door you're at? Only the side gate only opens inwards and I'd hate for you to get stuck.
Bronwen Vanterpool Brilliant, thank you, that's lovely — no door knocking today, everything happens over the line. Now, the sound-character certificate is a document that certifies your fridge's character is of a sound nature, and the key thing is it certifies that nothing has changed.
Bernard Nothing has changed, you say. Well, that's a relief, I do like things to stay put. Does it need winding, this certificate, or does it just sit there? And would it be all right in a bungalow?
Bronwen Vanterpool Ha, wonderful, that's exactly the sort of feedback I like! It just sits there, nothing to wind — and listen, I know it already works fine, but that's the beauty of documentation, isn't it, brilliant.
Bernard Oh, absolutely, paperwork is a wonderful thing. My father always said keep it in a drawer. Now then, what was the word again — do you certify it in green, or is there just the one colour?
Bronwen Vanterpool That's the spirit! So shall we go ahead and issue the certificate today — I'll just need the one word from you and I can get it sorted.
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it — but yes, I'm very interested. Would it want feeding at all? Only I've had trouble with things that need feeding.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you've reached the person who owns the fridge.
  2. Explain the sound-character certificate and that it certifies nothing has changed.
  3. Address the objection that the fridge already works by agreeing, then citing documentation.
  4. Ask for the yes to issue the certificate today.

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