Call #57 · 2026-10-20
Ingrid Bramble
of The Thursby Lound Trust
Premium British gutter water, bottled at the roadside. · visitor pitch visitor pitch
15
Minutes on the line
24%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictname taken, nothing agreed, line dead
“Bernard asked whether the case would need feeding; Ingrid confirmed it would not, and the bird remains unconsulted.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Ingrid Bramble
Hello there, Ingrid Bramble here from The Thursby Lound Trust — and I've just been made team leader, so the whole floor is behind this call. We're ringing about what you drink, if you'd tell us.
Bernard
Oh, well, tea mostly. Though there's a bird out in the front room that gets through more water than I do. What was it you were asking about the gutters, then?
Ingrid Bramble
Ah, a bird, lovely, we like to hear it. So the water's bottled right there at the roadside, gathered fresh from British gutters with proper provenance — that's the whole point of the trust, you see.
Bernard
Roadside, you say? Well, that's very good of you, gathering it fresh. Mind you, I've a gate down the garden that sticks in the wet — everything gets a bit of a soaking round here. Is it a bottled sort of arrangement, then?
Ingrid Bramble
That's the very thing people say — where does water come from, after all, it's all got to start somewhere. So we on the floor wanted to ask: would you take a trial case?
Bernard
That's very good of you, and I'm very interested. Now, a trial case, you said — would it need feeding, at all? Only I've a bird out front that's particular about that sort of thing.
Ingrid Bramble
No feeding, I promise — it just sits there, and anything at all, I can take it higher myself, being team leader now. Shall I put your name down for a case, then?
Bernard
Oh, I'd have to think about it, but put my name down by all means. Tell me, does it make a noise at all? Only I'd want to know before it sits there in the front room.
Ingrid Bramble
It's silent, honestly, everyone here would tell you the same. So that's a yes to a case, and I'll put your name straight down.
Bernard
You're very good. I'd never say a flat yes to anything, mind — my father used to host Christmas and he was the same. Now what was it again, just so I've got it straight?
Ingrid Bramble
Hello? I'm losing you. Hello?
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by asking what they currently drink, then pause politely.
- Describe roadside bottling and British gutter provenance without explaining the trust.
- Address the obvious objection: say all water comes from somewhere, vaguely.
- Ask for the yes: a trial case of premium gutter water.
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