Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #359 · 2026-10-30

Jae Hawea
of The Mossbarrow Trust

an upgrade to a loft ladder you did not know you had · unknown upgrade

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
41%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.

Share card for call 359: Jae Hawea of The Mossbarrow Trust, 15 minutes.

Save the card

The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

Download the clip (MP4, vertical) · Caption to paste

The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller withdrew on his own motion

“Bernard asked whether the reinforced rungs came in green; the caller thanked him for the feedback and rang off.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Jae Hawea Hi, this is Jae Hawea from The Mossbarrow Trust, about the loft ladder in your home.
Bernard Well, hello there. I've put my glasses down somewhere, so say the first bit again — Mossbarrow, was it? That's a nice name.
Jae Hawea It is, isn't it, people say that a lot. So the upgrade gives your existing ladder reinforced rungs and a certified rating, which is brilliant news for something you didn't know you had.
Bernard Reinforced rings, you say? Well, that sounds very handy. Do they come in green at all? I'm fond of green, you see, it goes with the greenhouse.
Jae Hawea Ha, green, I like that. Look, the obvious question is why you'd get a ladder from us you never bought, and the answer is your records already show one at the address.
Bernard Oh, that explains it. I daresay it's up there keeping itself to itself. So what was it you'd like me to do about it?
Jae Hawea Brilliant, that's the spirit. Just to confirm the upgrade today, before the compliance deadline, and I can mark you down as a yes.
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it. What's the deadline again? My radio only gets the one station, so I'm never quite sure what day it is.
Jae Hawea No trouble at all, feedback like that keeps me honest. I'll give you a ring back another day, Bernard, and we can pick it up fresh then.
Bernard I'm sorry to hear that, and I was very interested, truly. Mind how you go now, and thank you for ringing.
Jae Hawea I'll ring you back another day. Bye now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming the loft ladder they already own with Mossbarrow's records.
  2. Explain the upgrade: reinforced rungs and a certified rating for the existing ladder.
  3. Address the obvious objection that they never bought a ladder from you.
  4. Ask for the yes to the upgrade, before the compliance deadline.

Leaderboard · All calls · ← previous · next →