Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #201 · 2026-10-25

Marion Lindqvist
of Trask Threshold Ltd

a fortnightly hedge trimmings subscription that renews itself · renewing subscription

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 201: Marion Lindqvist of Trask Threshold Ltd, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller exited via post

“Bernard asked where the bags go and offered the caller sympathy; caller opted for the postal service and closed the file himself.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Marion Lindqvist Marion Lindqvist here, Trask Threshold Ltd. We're getting in touch about the hedge boundary the team already keeps up for you — newly made team leader, so the whole floor is with me on this.
Bernard Oh, that's very good of you. Now, the hedge cutter I lent someone in 1997, I never did get that back — was that you? No, sorry, you're new. Go on then, the boundary, you were saying.
Marion Lindqvist Sorry, that was careless of me. Every other week we bag up all your trimmings and take them away — that's the collection.
Bernard Every other week, right. And where do the bags go after? Only I've got a chimney pot out the back with birds in it, and they make a dreadful mess, so I'd want to know it's all tidied properly.
Marion Lindqvist They go off with the lads and don't come back, that's all I can promise. And just so you know, the subscription ticks over by itself unless you say otherwise before the fortnight's out.
Bernard Ticks over by itself, does it? Well, that's very handy, I never remember to do anything by the right week. My sister's birthday's in the fortnight, or is it the Tuesday after — anyway. So it just carries on, no fuss.
Marion Lindqvist No fuss at all, and if anything's ever not right, I can escalate it straight up the line for you — that's what we're here for. So, shall we get the first collection out to you?
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it — no, hang on, I'm very interested, I am. Just remind me, is it the bags that come every other week, or is it the lads? I get things the wrong way round.
Marion Lindqvist Trimmings go every other week and don't come back, that's the whole idea. So that's a yes to starting?
Bernard Oh dear, you sound a bit down, if you don't mind me saying. I'm sorry to hear it — I really was very interested, and I hope the rest of your day picks up. You mind how you go now.
Marion Lindqvist I'll send it in the post instead. Save us both the trouble. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming the hedge boundary Trask Threshold already maintains.
  2. Explain the fortnightly collection of trimmings, bagged and removed.
  3. Address the objection: renewal is automatic unless cancelled before the fortnight.
  4. Ask for the yes to start the first collection this fortnight.

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