Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #136 · 2026-10-23

Eileen Faleolo
of Mossbarrow Group Holdings

a seasonal fence review that arrives unbidden · unbidden service

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 136: Eileen Faleolo of Mossbarrow Group Holdings, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno fence, no sale, chair still out

“Bernard offered the caller a chair and tea; caller cited a wrong line and a list, and left the Thursday to him.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Eileen Faleolo Eileen Faleolo, Mossbarrow Group Holdings. I'm confirming I've reached the fence line for your locality rather than a person, so I'll be quick.
Bernard Oh, the fence line. Well, you've got the wrong side of it, most likely. Is it the front door or the back door you're at? Only I'd hate for you to be standing out in this weather.
Eileen Faleolo You're very kind, Bernard, but I'm not at either door — I'm confirming the fence line itself, and I've got you down as the right household. So the seasonal fence review is already scheduled to arrive with you, entirely unbidden.
Bernard Scheduled already, is it? Nobody tells me anything. And would that come by post, or does a person bring it round — because I'd put a chair out if it's a person.
Eileen Faleolo A person brings it, Bernard, so put the chair out — good thinking. Now, I know what you're going to say: there's no fence. But the boundary's the thing, and every boundary gets its review.
Bernard Well, there's a boundary, I'll grant you — the bit where next door's washing line comes over. Would your person want to see that bit, or is it more of a form they fill in at the post office?
Eileen Faleolo That washing line bit is exactly the sort of thing the review covers, Bernard. So can I put you down as a yes for accepting delivery when it arrives?
Bernard Oh, put me down, put me down — though I'd have to think about it properly. Will they want tea? And what day is it, because my week's got muddled and I keep thinking it's Thursday.
Eileen Faleolo We've had a muddle at my end too, truth be told — wrong line, wrong hour, and I've got a list in front of me that isn't helping anyone. I'll leave you to your Thursday, Bernard, and stop taking up your morning.
Bernard I'm sorry to hear that, I really am. I was very interested, mind, so thank you for ringing. Mind how you go now.
Eileen Faleolo I'll try again when the line's behaving. Good afternoon.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the locality's fence line, not the person.
  2. Present the seasonal fence review as an unbidden courtesy visit already scheduled.
  3. Address the objection that no fence exists by citing the boundary itself.
  4. Ask for the yes to accept delivery of the review when it arrives.

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